Monthly Archives: September 2013

The super glue people in my life

by

First thing first, I’m truly blessed to have my friends and family by me. Today’s blog is not a preach it’s an appreciation about my super glue people.The one that are there at the end of every love and the start of every happy moment. The one that are there when it happens that I lose myself and I feel like I  hit the bottom hard. The moment I feel so broke and lost, so desperate and lonely, so hurt and sad. I still feel alive, I keep on breathing because I know who is behind me, my super glue people.

These amazing people that I’m blessed to share my life with will appear on the second I lose it all, like they can feel me trough space. And not only feel me but help me pick my shattered self  and bring their special SUPER glue so we can put ME back together. And when they are around me  I feel strong enough to tell them I love them from the bottom of my heart for all that they have done. I love them because I  never need to begged for them to help me out they simply care enough to be next to me  without me asking. And this  is why I forbid myself to be depressed any more. I stop focusing on the wrong things and people, all the strange and unfair things that hurt and should mean nothing at all to me. I no longer ache I will love and appreciate what I have, I  will breath the future and I will exhale the past. I am hundred times stronger because they are here next to me!!

I will need to learn so much more  in my life, but this I know from now  that no matter what I will  face the nasty things in life right in the face and to tell them that I’m not afraid of them and if it gets worst I have back up them with SUPER glues ….

After Love

by

Today I was stroke by the though:
Why people cry when the so called Love is gone ?

They know its over and nothing can become undone and the feeling are gone and the people have changed. Why do we still believe that out there somewhere there is a chance for the past to happen again and for us to relive that emotion and lust. I think that it’s not the bittersweet ending of love that makes people upset it’s the fact that our love still carries on without us being able to stop it. After all of our heartaches we still love the person that was once next to us and the though of being unable to control our feeling makes us so broken down and misarable. The fact that we are  so hopeless agains it and no matter what we do, we can’t change it drains us down. So people cry not because LOVE ends but because it continues even tough it’s over.

The good still exists

This morning started quite late for me and seeing my bears made me so happy, baby bear give me a huge hug. The day was  just starting and after a sleep over at my old home I headed back to my new home. Planing on making it a home I carefully found a Tesco Superstore on the map and my way to it and the one closes to me was the one in Pinner.

I’m on my way Tube, Bus and I’ getting there I have my mind set : Food shopping, living essentials I’m rocking it.I arrive at my destination after hour and a half of traveling  and for my shock this Tesco is the same size as the Tesco down the road from me and I’m so angry because I need to carry the food shopping all the way home. Mad I leave the store with nothing bought from it. And so I walk away from it trying to calm my self down. This time I get lost in Pinner, but Pinner is beautiful and I don’t mind being lost in here.ImageImageImage

With eyes full I feel a bit better, I’m think this it’s not a lost day I have seen so much and I’m happy.I head to the tube station to get home and clean planing what I need to do first. Wishlist am thinking with my head high and I see a Sainsbury’s sign. I am think why not get my food here and get the tube (which is right next to the store). I enter and to my surprise  it’s a SUPERSTORE and everything  in the home wear section is half off because of the students. I pick few things when I realize I want to double check the prices cause they seem too low. So I  go and ask one of the staff ladies and she replays ” Let me get my gun ! ” by this point I don’t know should I run or stay. In a minute she is back with her bar-code scanner and my heart is not racing any more (and the price was the same).

I’m so excited I call mom to let her know (silly me). I end up getting absolutely everything I need for half it’s normal price  and I my food shopping is done too at the same time. Bad thing is my trolly it’s so so so full it looks like a hill. So after checkout I end up with 13 orange bags and only two hands to carry them.

I’m pushing my trolly over floating with bags towards the trolly areas when the sad feeling of ” OMG I won’t make it with the tube ” hits me hard. But I’m confident I’ll find a way. As I’m trying to unload the trolly and put it back in the row (I would love to keep it till home and return in tomorrow bt ain’t possible) a elderly gentlemen putting his trolly away asks me  “Are you OK, dear ? ” I must’ve looked really desperate. I ensure him I’m absolutely fine  and I will be OK, but he caries on “Would you like me to open your car for you ? “. I am on the verge now I feel like bursting into tears( I rearly get people to feel for me, but when they do I let go of my boundaries too) , “Ou that’s not my car, I’ll be taking the tube ! “. He steps back and looks at me “Please let me help you ! ” (I am about to cry cause deep down I would love someone to help me right now and I know I have no one) I agree he is so kind and I know really I won’t be able to make it. So he loads my things into his car (they barely fit in there) and we set off for him to drive my tube station. We arrive at Eastcote and he asks me it’s down the station and will I make it, after telling him I’m 20 minutes away from the station. By this point he remembers he need to go to home base for more paint without which he cant finish his daily project and the store is in my direction.”Thank God I met you today I would had my Sunday wasted !”I am glad I have remained him of that .He insists of driving me to the house since is on the way. He drops me off like my own dad with such care and takes my bags to the door of the house (I’m in tears of his kindness). Mr. Graunt you are having one big big box of chocolates send to you tomorrow !!! The good is still out there and today I felt blessed !! This was the delivered result of my crazy shopping today

.Image

After my adventures it was cleaning and putting away, sorting my life once again but this time filled with hope that the world is a better place  my day and everything in it was perfect ! I’m one happy girl filled with adventures !

Image

The Great Expectations

by

Image

This world would have been a better place if there were no expectations. We say that life is hard but actually it’s fairly easy, the thing that spoils it is our great expectations. We expect thing to happen in a certain way and when they change and happen differently not meeting the requirements of our expectations suddenly life becomes “HARD”.

If we don’t expect, we simply won’t get disappointed, or the less we expect the happier we get. And once you stop expecting things start happening in a different way. Our old unfulfilled expectations are now seen as gifts, kindness, love and care and it makes us feel better and it gives us hope that life is not that “HARD”. If you sit down with yourself and think of the times you expected something to happen or someone to do something you will soon figure out that you do it on daily bases.

It’s not our fault tough we are born with others people expectations and with the begging of our lives we are expected to do things ourselves. This is probably the reason why we grow up creating our “great expectations” and knowing no better we adapt this sad way of living.

To me my expectations are like drugs I want to let go but I can’t find the strength. I want to stop, but I can’t. The worst of all is that I know that they are harmful for me but like on porpoise I keep them like I like to be hurt. But if you are strong enough and you find the balance in you, letting go of your great expectations is the biggest favor you can do to yourself.

logoprofile