This took a while

Yes Yes Yessss !!!

Time heals !    They kept on saying wherever I lost the battle in the war with my daemons. Sometimes this felt like a scoring game DAEMONS 3 : 0 Dessy, and like this phase ” It’s ok just bare with it time heals ” became the motto of my second best. I came to hate it as it meant nothing to me and it was like a reminder they are winning once again but it’s ok being a looser it ain’t that bad !!!! You know what now I know how right they were but it was the right amount of time i needed to met HIM

At times like these it feels like there is a master plan that everyone’s following in a perfect order and we just need to be ready to wait for it to unfold.I can’t exactly explain it , it’s one of those things you just embrace without questioning as you know they make perfect sense even though at first they make no sense at all. This is how I came across him………….. and the master plan unfolded. So I let my self drift away without putting too much though in what was going on around me…. this one night so unexpected I knew my life is about to change . I didn’t know how I had no idea but I could feel it. I bet everyone had had this one moment in time you realise that something is about to change, something that has been static for so long, something seeming so elusive and distant and like in this split second you can almost hold every piece of you ,  every piece you lost in life sticks together again …  . This is when I met him I felt whole I felt complete. The first though in my head was …. NOW  IT ALL MAKE SENSE.

All of the mishaps all of those never came to be moments , all of the why me and whens  made perfect sense it wasn’t the right time, it wasn’t the right person, it wasn’t what was put in the master plan… it wasn’t  right

I wish I could lock myself in this moment of divinity where nothing matters, I know it’s selfish but God it felt so good. Like someone knew I need to learn my lesson I need time to think about it, to let my wounds heal my faith to be  restored, my hope to be revolved and my heart to empty for all the hatred that t had harvest over my hurt pride and for all my emotions to be regrown strong enough to bare all the new emotions I was about to gather.

So yes it wasn’t in vein after all all of those ‘TIME WILL HEAL’ actually made perfect sense now, now that time had healed me ……..

I’m runnig dry

I ran dry of excuses and hopes, I ran dry of believes. I feel lost and there is no one out there to save me and to pull me up from the mud I created and drag my own self in. I know what I need to do, the thing is I don’t have the strength, I lost the spirit and I can’t find the path I was following to reach the end. Time doesn’t heal it makes it worse, it makes it harder and more and more suffcating . I need my salvation, I need to find the way but I feel like giving up and just letting my daemons conquer my soul and claim me as owned. I have finally lost all….